Japan: master politness

If you want to communicate in Japan, language is not enough, you need to know how to be polite. Here you can find some tips. Imminent contributor since its birth, staff writer Emma Gamba has a degree in Politics, Philosophy and Economics and a master’s degree in Marketing, Analytics and Metrics.

3 politeness levels

Unlike most western languages, Japanese has an extensive grammatical system to express politeness and formality. Broadly speaking, there are three main politeness levels in spoken Japanese: the plain form (“kudaketa”) – used with friends and in families, the simple polite form (“teinei”) and the advanced polite form (“keigo”). Japanese people tend to see relationships with other people as a “senpai / kouhai (senior / junior)” relation, where one person has a higher position (senpai) than the other (kouhai). This position is determined by a variety of factors including occupation, age, experience or even psychological state. The person in the lower position is expected to use a polite form of speech, whereas the other might use a more plain form.

How to bow

Eshaku, a 15-degree bow used for informal greetings and congratulations

Keirei, 30 degrees, reserved for those who are on a higher step of the social ladder (like their boss)

Saikeirei, a 45-degree bow, used in obsequiousness to personalities such as the emperor or persons of elevated rank

Honne and tatemae

To speak Japanese well, it is essential to have a clear distinction between honne and tatemae, that is, between what you really think and what is implicit or omitted. Japanese society, for practical and ethical reasons, attaches great importance to homogeneity and cohesion; everything that is an uncontrolled expression of individuality (and therefore derives from honne) is not welcome precisely because it risks compromising the uniformity of the group. 

Community vs Individuality

The personal pronoun “I” is used very sparingly because, also in this case, it focuses attention on individuality. For this reason the Japanese avoid saying “I” unless it is indispensable and they do it following precise rules. A woman talking about herself can say atashi (female ego), while a man identifies himself with ore or boku (male ego).

Absence of the verb “duty”

In modern Japanese, to say “I have to do something” the double negation is used: “you have to eat” translates into tabe nakereba narimasen, “you can’t not eat”; or  tabenakute wa ikemasen, “it is not good not to eat”. In this way the Japanese, once again, cleverly avoid mentioning the individual

Don’t say no

“No” is a word which, if possible, the Japanese prefer not to pronounce. Refusal is, in fact, considered unpleasant and antisocial because it causes discomfort in those who receive it. The “no” is then replaced with expressions such as: chotto muzukashii desu ne (“this [you ask me] is a bit difficult”); chotto jikan kakarimasu ne (“this will take some time”); chotto muri kana (“this is a bit impossible”).

Japanese culture Institute

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Photo credit: Kevin Xie, Unsplash

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